Valentines Day
by ChaosTheDark08
Summary: An alone Pewdie remembers about the time he spent with Cry, and how he must overcome his fear on this dark Valentines Day. PewDieCry, feels.


They say that courage is not the absence of fear, but the overcoming of it, right? That the fear is still there, but the outcome of the situation at hand is greater than it?  
I hope that's the case, because I'm fucking terrified.  
I'm terrified of the unknown, that my fright will cause me to run away and fail you...because I have to do this.  
Do you remember the good times? The long days of sleeping, editing, cuddling...when we'd laugh for no reason whatsoever and yell into the night to chase away the monsters? The sweet smell of sugar and spices that lingered around the house as you tried for the 103rd unsuccessful time to bake a cake is a bittersweet memory now. Your bright smile as that familiar dark blush crept along your cheeks...such blissful, innocent moments.  
And then the phone call came and ruined everything. It wasn't your fault, okay? It was never your fault.  
The world stopped then, and life ran in slow-motion as I dropped the phone in a vortex of confusion and denial, running to the car like a madman as I rushed there, not caring about my safety.  
The hospital was so clean and white as I approached it. They took me through every blank corridor, every room the same until I reached you, my love.  
You were so very pale, laying there, connected to so many machines and wrapped in blood-soaked bandages. The beeping echoed around the room as I grasped you tight, not truly understanding what the nurse was saying as I took in the true horror of what had become of you.  
A speeding car, driven by an overly drunk man, had hit you hard. They had arrested the man, and put you into a coma to decrease the amount of damage done to your brain.  
The words were lost on me as I held you, praying to every deity possible that you'd survive, that you'd wake up in my arms.  
Then my world fell apart as the nurse told me that the chance of survival was slim-to-none, and that even if you survived, you'd be in agony forever and be a vegetable with no ability to speak or move. The doctors went away after that.  
I didn't want to, please understand that. I wanted you to live, no matter what. But...but I knew that I didn't want you in pain, and you wouldn't even be aware of anything. It was so difficult to turn the life-support off, Cry. To feel you slip quietly away from me, with no sense of peace or content. The hospital tried to help, but I just wanted to be left alone. I was tired, and life had lost its meaning. Time moved at a snail's pace, with everyone else passing me by, like I was invisible and rejected by society. I drifted through the city, no real location in mind.  
The funeral was...good, if you could call it that. I thought of you, and decided that you wouldn't want it to be a sad occasion. You hated seeing me upset. So, everyone wore bright colours and we had a party afterwards, celebrating life instead of mourning death. Everyone went, the Late Night Crew, family, friends, everyone. Hundreds of flowers were sent by fans and friends who couldn't make it. You touched so many hearts...and they still keep sending flowers to this day.  
But still, I was helplessly drowning in depression. I wasn't able to get over you, and the hole you'd left behind. Many people offered help and support, but I just needed time.  
Time to make the plan.  
So, here I am, on top of a skyscraper. I did my research, and I know that this will be the end of me. It'll be quick, I won't even be aware of it. I should hurry up though, it's quite cold up here!  
God...I'm about to die and I'm laughing at myself. Maybe I'm crazy. I probably am, after all, I'm talking to the atmosphere, hoping that you're here.  
I don't want to die alone on Valentines Day.  
The wind's pretty heartless, blowing endless streams of cold air to slide my ears. The night sky is lit up with bright, sparkling stars.  
It is, by all accounts, a beautiful last sight.  
I'm nearing the edge now. I can almost see you, a transparent Cry coming over to me, holding me tight.  
We'll go together, right? So we can be together again.  
I'm scared Cry. I'm so fucking scared out of my wits.  
We're tipping over the edge, we're falling...I love you Cr-


End file.
